My mom didn’t want to cook. So she called Pizza Hut. Pizza Hut said it’d be two hours for the delivery. She comes and knocks on my door, asks if she buys the pizza if I can go pick it up. I say “Fuck no” (nicely). She asks if I want to wait for two hours. I tell her I’m not that hungry. She orders it. My sister calls her. She knocks on my door, asks if I want something from Chick-fil-A. I say “I thought we had pizza on the way?” She says she wants Chick-fil-A even though the pizza’s already been ordered and probably in the making. I say “Fuck it, get me a freakin’ chicken sandwich too.” She says okay.
There are starving kids in Africa, but at my house, we’re having pizza- AND Chick-fil-A.
Timothy Lynch | The Case Against Plea Bargaining
This guy knows a whole lot about plea bargaining. Not a whole lot about handguns. You know- most commonly- pistols only have one chamber.
Sister: [after transferring a bunch of songs from my computer] Did you have Bob Marley?
Me: Yeah, why?
Sister: Do you know where they make pot brownies?